You Me & US - One Step at a Time

I often used to get this compliment from the girls I knew in college that I would make a perfect husband. May be because I had been nice to them, told them beautiful things and always gave them a positive vibe. And I did believe so too, that I was that Man. Only to latter realize that, that wasn’t true and in fact far from the truth. Because Marriage is not the same thing as a few small talks or once a day meet ups.  It takes a great deal of time and effort (and fights and tears) for two strangers of different personalities, liking and upbringing to accept each other’s differences, change a few habits and get that synergy to live together under the same roof as a couple. I am married for more than 5 years to this beautiful smart lady and can now confidently say that I am a far better husband, than the one I used to be, yet striving for that perfection which could take another decade or two.

While being the perfect couple could be the final destination, the beauty lies in the process – the fights and make ups, the bashings and hugs, the tears and smiles, the arguments and happy exchanges, the bad words and the cute little nicknames we call each other. So this woman I met for the first time in a temple, surrounded by relatives – mine and hers, not knowing anything other than the fact that she is beautiful (not even that she is a vegetarian- the implications of which were life changing :-P ), followed with a few months of chats getting to know the basic stuff and BANG one day, we were married and living together.

We had a world of differences between us which would crop up at frequent instances, lead to arguments and fights but nevertheless at the end of it, we are together and a step closer than the previous day. Slowly but steadily, we have both changed for the better and today, it would be hard for us to imagine a world without each other. As we stare at brighter horizons this year, I am so looking forward to a time when we are as old as wood, holding hands and lying beside a beach side resort having seen many ups and downs but moved closer every single time. Happy Valentines Day Piku :-) 

The Power of Thought

There are times in life when you have so much thoughts flowing in your head that you would immediately want to put it in paper. Had one such day today at a Book Review event in LITTLE LOVE LIBRARY, Anna Nagar, Chennai. Once we are past our graduation and get in to a professional routine, we hardly get to time to do the things we love to, like in college. You hardly meet your friends despite them being in the same city. In all this rush and madness of routine, if one can manage to find a small gathering of like minded individuals who would want to have a sane discussion on topics that usually the general public find vague, it’s your oasis in desert full of humans.

Little Love Library is one such small lending place for books run by a woman who has had it her passion to make a career around books. Heard of it through my wife and we’ve been regulars at the place for a couple of months now. This week for the first time, they experimented with a book review, the book being Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. I haven’t read the book but have been hearing from a lot of friends about how transformational the book is and it is a must read. On the insistence of my wife we made it sharp at the venue and were surprised to see the little place overflow with people, around twelve of them. I was the only odd man out there being a Banker in a crowd that had entrepreneurs, writers, free lancers, psychiatrist , short film maker and HR professionals.

‘The Secret’ is about the ‘power of thought’ as to how your thoughts however odd or stupid they sound are bound to occur depending on your level of conviction and belief.  This could be about an event, a thing one wants, relationships or even money. The moment you think and believe of wanting them to happen, they do happen, for that is the power of thought. You imagine a good day, it’s a good day. You feel bad, it’s bad. Because the universe responds to human thoughts whatever be it.

Might sound crazy but I guess it does work, it is just the discipline and conviction with which you practice this habit of inculcating positive thoughts that will shape one’s life. While I am one of a kind when it comes to handling thoughts, a weird one. Some would call it wired wrongly for I feel sad when something happy is happening to me and happy when something sad is happening. For in a happy moment, I would think that it is bound to end and this too would pass while in a sad moment, I feel things cannot get worse from here and that it should only get better.  This is what makes for happy Saturdays and sad Sundays for the next day being Monday. Infact this line of thought has fetched me a lot of money in the share markets when I go bottom fishing looking for stocks that are worst downside for a buy, cos they only get better that they have had enough beating. In Rhonda Byrne’s line of thinking it is only a direct reflection of the thought that I hold.

There’s my favorite Paulo Coelho book ‘The Alchemist’ which expands on this with a fictionary tale of a shepherd boy in search of a treasure that,” when you really want something, the whole world conspires in helping you achieve it”. We got to constantly keep telling ourselves of the things we want, to get them. To make this process of belief in thoughts easy, our ancestors had created Gods of different forms and shapes who are set in various religious places where devotees come seeking their wishes with all faith. It is more the thought that is lending the prayers true.

How this works and what is the science behind it is unknown, but the thought does magic as long as you trust in it. Believe in what you want, write down the good things you’ve had in life, see the good in people, keep reminding yourself of your goals, dream and dream of living those dreams, love everyone and just be happy, the happiness in thought will reverberate happiness in your life exponentially. Thanks to the Little Love for all the Lovely thoughts and Lovely people you have brought together. 

India's Daughter - My Take

A few days back when the whole issue crept up with the Government’s ban on the BBC documentary, India’s Daughter – The Story of Jyoti Singh, I did have a thought that it was a right decision since this could be one of those chances where the western world portrays India has a land of miseries while we are on the verge of becoming an economic super power. But today 8^th March, after watching the Documentary myself, I believe that this is one thing that should be made a compulsory watch for all Indians here and abroad. The film is genuine in its intent to bring out the reason behind this heinous crime which shook the world. It doesn’t take a stand or pass opinions but rather airs two set of contrasting views. One from the victim and another from the convict, one from the defence lawyers and another from the civic society. The judgement is left open for the viewer to make.

As much as I felt angry about the cruelty involved with such an inhuman act, I was also made to realise that a death sentence to the offenders is in no way going to solve this problem of rape which runs so deep in to our society. This incident is not just about the crime against women but several other ills that India faces - gender inequality, female infanticide, urban rural divide, social classes, income inequality, slums, impact of the surroundings and brought up on the psychology of a juvenile. The documentary brilliantly showcases not just what is wrong with India but also the brighter side of what makes us different. The anger with which the young people took to the streets to bring justice to a slain soul and fought a battle like it was their own. I adore the intention of the parents who unlike most other Indian households spent all their money in educating their daughter and letting her be what she wanted to. It is sad that they have to go through all this. The pain and sorrow in their eyes and voices will shake even the hardest of men.

We would need to create a society where all parents start treating their daughters with equal importance and liberties as their sons like that of Jyothi’s. The change should not happen in prisons and court rooms but in every single home and school, both rich and poor. It needn’t be through laws but through education. When a girl cooks, it’s a duty and when a guy does, it’s  a hobby. What non sense! It is such simple things that cascade to far more bigger evils when look at as a whole. The mindset is the devil. And this needs to change today. Watching this documentary could be a good start. 

Looking forward to a day when, “Behind every successful woman, there is a man” becomes a common saying than the other way around.

Time & Tide

If you guys had watched the Justin Timberlake starrer, “In Time” you would have found it more of a science fiction that could be a reality in the distant future where you are as rich as the time you have with you. Time is money. But what we fail to realize is that even today, Time is everything.  Here I am after completing a silver jubilee on planet earth, working ten to ten on weekdays and a few Sundays as well. I earn plenty of money but what I don’t get is Time. Time to do the things that I really want to do. Read a book, watch a movie, write to a friend, pen a blog, take a trip alone without anything planned, meet up with some friends for dinner,  a conversation with a fellow intellect on the complexities of life and existence  and some quizzing. The list is endless but the time is very less. The regrets keep piling up with every passing day. I wish my day had 36 hours !!!

I am learning to plan my day out so that I could at least fit in a few of the above things in my daily life but it simply ain't enough. I have started to appreciate little things like less traffic on the road, if my computer boots fast or if the waiter gets my food without delay as these things save me a little ME time even though negligible. You come back after a hectic day and all you want to do is stretch out and nap.  There was a time not long back, when I was in college, I had all the time on earth but never used it the right way. Would help if I had a time machine that could take me back and give me a second chance to live it better. But oops time travel is just fiction. Only after you feel the importance of a thing that you realize how you have been misusing it. I’m sure you guys came across this Facebook thing which summed up your past year using your status and pics. I tried mine out and my timeline stopped with May , the time I joined work. Simply, I have just missed half a year.

I don’t know if things would change if I move to a less hectic job or if I start a business on my own. But one thing I have realized that it is the simple things that I do in the little ME time that I have is what makes my day and not the whole time I sit in office whining about a horrible boss and the pressure of delivering a humongous sales target. A well thought out thriller, a deeply engrossing conversation with a friend, a chat on a whatsapp group with my school friends scattered geographically across the world, a soul touching song with headphones on, a drive on an empty road in the midnight, some self cooked food and an interesting read. This is life.

You’re life gets defined by how you use your ME time. Different things would interest different people, that’s subjective. But use your ME time efficiently doing all the things you really like cos that is what will make your life livable. Now that there’s no time travel, it is better if we could live every day and spend every ME time your way. Think that you have come back in time from the future to this day, just so that you live it memorably without any regrets. Start now. Hopefully the next year when Facebook summarizes my year for me, it would be complete and every bit memorable. So all, wish you a very Happy New Year  2015. J Oops I’m gonna be 26 this September. 

The Bong Connection

I am very compelled to write about how the Modi Wave (smartly dubbed by Twitterati as TsuNaMo) swept the nation and what are the excitements and fears that we might face with a stable government in the centre but since that is all that you see and hear in the media these days with the editors generating an overdose of articles that intend to emphasize the meteorical rise of a chaiwala who is destined to be India’s Prime Minister, I would rather choose a different subject to write on.

Are you someone who loves your identity? Someone who takes pride of who you are and where you come from, very much like the pride that Mr Modi shares about being an Indian Guajarati Hindu Nationalist (Well, it’s tough to restrain myself from mentioning that name at this time ;) So bear with). I am one of them, I love where I belong. And I believe that’s the same with most of you as well for we are brought up in such surroundings and that is what defines our world beyond. Now, have you ever liked any other community of people as much as you did about yours?

I had this thought of what would I have chosen to be other than a Tamilian, had I been given that choice and to my surprise, I had a definite answer. A Bengali aka Bong :) (Let me start by saying, I am not seeing any Bengali girl nor do I have any such plans ;) ). It is just something about them that makes me so envious, is it their love for art, music, movies, literature, conversations, food, football, durga pooja, siestas, colours, sexy sounding language, simplicity, history or is it because I’ve already listed out so many options as to why.

I have never been to Kolkata in my life but I had the pleasure of befriending some wonderful Bengalis over the past few years who have been very great ambassadors of what it is like to be what they are. When the whole world seems to be in a mad rush to move on in haste and catch up with the impatient world, the Bengalis are once who live in the present. They relish happiness in simple things that you can derive from the moment, not all of which can be bought by money.

It is this approach to life that has led to a great amount of talent originate from this small state that has been the centre of power in British India, right from the greats of Rabindarnath Tagore, Swami Vivekananda, Netaji, Satyajit Ray, Amartya Sen to today’s Saurav Ganguly, Rituparno Gosh, Derek O’Brien and even the Fake IPL Blogger who set the social media on fire. They are always open for conversations over a sweet for snack, maybe that’s why Dr Sen chose to give his book the title “The Argumentative Indian”, a clear case of Self Reference Criterion SRC in marketing lingo. I have had them suggest me a great deal of books to read and movies to watch which has helped me raise my bars in terms of my taste for substance.

A happy life doesn’t necessarily mean a huge bungalow, SUVs, 7 digit bank balance. You can have all of those and still be unhappy as you would want even more. What’s better than a good verse of Tagore’s poetry, a window seat on the tram to Victoria Mahal, a ride on Howrah and a match between Mohun Bagan and East Bengal! (None of which I have experienced but all of those on my bucket list). Having said all this, how can I miss not mentioning the Bengali women ;) Not just because they are gorgeous looking with expressive eyes, but it is their sense of independence and the intelligence in thought and action. (Not surprised Rahul Gandhi didn’t do well in West Bengal for they are already empowered women long before even his granny).

Them Sens, Basus, Chakrabortys, Mukherjees, Das and Naths are mostly living examples of what we have lost than what we have gained. We can’t be a Bengali in this lifetime but we can very much try to live like one. So try and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Don’t miss out experiencing the journey in haste to reach your destination. Live life, Bong size ;)

(NOTE: These are just my observations. In case I got anything wrong, kindly leave me a note and I’ll correct myself)

The Sobremesa Gang

It has been a month out of college and I’m all set to move on to the next step in my life, make a living on my own. But sitting back at home idle over the past month, I wonder if life would ever be the same again. It’s not because I miss the place or being tutored but the people, the friends for the past two years. Once you are in your post graduation, there is always some amount of maturity in the way we carry ourselves with our friends unlike the friends from school or under graduation. It is more about spending some quality time, having memorable conversations, learning from each other whatever one is good at, discussing each other’s lives now and after and yet spare a few laughs and pull each other’s legs. Christ had given me all of it. Thanks to the wonderful people I got to know.

Everybody has a gang. It took me sometime to figure out where I belong for I was always the odd man out in the place, which I now call my gang. Here’s to the tiny gang of mine without whom Christ wouldn’t have been half as good.

Advithi  aka Advi– The Sane One

There are just few people who would be on the good books of everyone around, she’s one of those rare kinds. Never loses her cool whatever be it, takes everything with a smile and the one who keeps us all grounded. Everybody has problems when someone doesn’t pick up your calls or takes time to respond, but with Advi, that never happens. She’s literally a click away (the ideal girlfriend but taken ;) ).  She always has the alternate option of taking up a job in the UN as a translator as there are very few Indian languages she can’t speak. A very good listener and an expert in Bollywood gossips (You got to watch Mahesh Bhatt’s rapid fire Advi).

Aparna aka Appy – Ms Beautiful

It’s an irony she likes Vijay when her second name is Ajith (I’m hoping she sees the truth on this). It’s true she dances so well that she makes everyone around fade away but that doesn’t warrant her to add a bit of dance to everything she does (Even in the dumb video presentation we had to submit to Ashish Sir. No wonder you scored the highest ;) ). The best desk mate anyone can have for you can talk anything and everything and bring up the weirdest arguments provided she doesn’t get caught and be sent to the first desk  (My favourite- the dowry debate and the relationship talks). If Advi can be the ideal girlfriend, Appy is a complete nightmare. You don’t call her, she calls you :P and that’s when even you had forgotten you had called. She’s a bunch of contradictions. Nevertheless, she is someone everyone in Christ knows and likes, a complete goodie.

Muffadal aka Muffi- The Real Mr Know-it-all

A complete gentleman, never talks a word out of place and knows his manners at all times. He is a powerhouse of knowledge, knows everything that interests him to the highest detail and yet never very vocal about it. A man of few words, talks only when necessary and never pretends to be someone he is not. He clearly knows what he wants and what others think about him is never an issue. He keeps doing what he wants to no matter what. Super intelligent yet very hard working. The kind of person whom you are sure would do wonderful in life. And yea not to miss out the fan following he shares with the women and the cat fights he triggers between his loyalists. I hope he gets us some good influence when his uncle Modi becomes the PM.

Anindita aka Onin- Chottu Didi

When you talk about Muff, you need to mention Anindita next. If Oxford Dictionary was a woman, it’s her. She comes up with a plethora of words out of oblivion and leaves us all dumbfound. Our little princess, is such a fun to pull her legs. You are the life of our gang Anin. Unless you mention, no one would ever know that you are a Bengali. She has a knack of getting things done and is fascinated by fellow geeks and studious lot. Probably the only one who is linked to every guy in class (I think she stage handles it). There’s a reason I called you our princess, you just let things behind so that we are there to pick it up for you and also the flock of princes who make your family. You are a bottle of life, always had a smile when I had been around you.

Adhitya aka Adi- Serial Killer

I remember Aditya telling me once that nothing excites her more than getting the new episode of a series as soon as it is out. I was thinking she would make a good pair with someone who runs an internet centre but she’s finally caught up with a fellow Serial Killer (Best wishes to you Monica and your Chandler). She’s the oldest friend I know(It’s not the age that I’m talking about :P ), matlab from Engineering. She is my gate pass to the gang (I remember you telling me that Advi looks like Silky. No, she doesn’t). We were part of the Peter gang (term used for people who talk in English in Tamil Nadu ;) ) in college but only after coming here did I know how big a stylish Tamizlachi she is. A big fashionista who lives life queen size and the one with the biggest bag collection. She keeps the sad things to herself and is at her best at all times.

Swathy- The Woman

We often have a few names which we give as examples when we talk about successful women (Indra Nooyi, Kiran Bedi etc), Swathy could be one such (Really ;) ). Super smart, level headed, focussed and hard working. She can make castles out of thin air, I’ve never seen anyone who can put their thoughts across as clearly as she does, bang on. She’s someone who isn’t easy to impress and she doesn’t fake liking for people. She loves the ones she likes and hates the ones she hates (superlative tense :D ). It kinda took me a while to know her but once we were through, she’s such good company. She can crib the whole day when it comes to Christ and India (This is how I start a conversation with her when there is nothing to do :P ). My fellow CR, gets super hyper for small things but super cool when it comes the big stuff. She left me with very few work doing most of it herself.  Swathy, I’m sure you are gonna go places.

Such wonderful memories you guys have given me. I’m really happy I got to know you guys and would always try and be so. There’s this Spanish word “Sobremesa” which well reflects the time when we let our friendship brew – around the lunch table. Here’s to more such sobremesas in the coming years.

The Reluctant Traveller

Do you have a bucket list? (The things you wish to do before you kick the bucket or the things you live to do before u die). Well, I have one and I realized that more than anything, most of the list had places which I wish to go – exotic locations, adventure beckoning and spiritual calling. The thing is I have had them on my list since long and haven’t checked even a single box yet and I don’t see myself doing it in the near future as well. Why? I am a reluctant traveller.

 I have friends sending me links like the 10 breathtakingly beautiful places in India you must visit or 20 stunning ways to look at the world. I get absolutely awed seeing them and the first thing I do, add them to my bucket list and may be post back a link of 30 epic places you must visit before turning 30 (There’s no scarcity for such lists these days J ). So, it stays there. The bucket list gets bigger and byte-r while I keep visiting the 4-5 places I can never ignore going, even if I want to ;-) .

Thinking of the reasons why I don’t actually travel, I have a few jotted down.

• 1.       Busy with what I’m doing (which is nothing)
• 2.       Seeking permission from parents and getting to hear the 40 things you shouldn't do on a trip advice play on loop.
• 3.       Need to find company
• 4.       I’m a miser
• 5.       And above all LAZY, yea L-A-Z-Y.

Once in a while, I watch a movie which explores life through a journey of self realization, a friend whom I emulate shares her experience of the recent travel she had been on and the next one on her list, a desk partner in class whispering about the places she would like to visit with her guy and the endless pictures of my friends posing before the places I had bucketed popping up on my Facebook wall. Such things give me this new found urge of letting go all my thoughts and actually making the trip bang on. But it’s just a matter of time before I let my laziness take over.

It actually makes me feel guilty that I’m wasting my life dreaming about these places and finding someone to blame on for my inaction. And then there’s this conversation which happened with a friend which made me realize that it is not the place which actually excites me but the thought of it. It’s the idea of travelling that I am fond of, not travelling itself (It’s something like I like music but I don’t want to play it myself, I appreciate creativity but I am least creative myself and so on).

I quote my friend, “It is just the idea that I like. I am not sure I would actually enjoy being in those places. I don’t know because I haven’t been to those places. I would rather sit down and have some good company. The few places I have been, the memories of the trip are always the people and the fun we had with those people, not the places exactly. I don’t think I can sit at a beach or a mountain top and just gaze at the infinite sky or sea and that somehow alters my life”.  

How true! I felt goose bumps when I watched Alia Bhatt @ Veera in “Highway” cry uncontrollably at the glimpse of the gushing water in her final destination, a sense of purity and achievement. But is that what I would feel or do when I get there! I doubt. I would rather be confused or bored of the gaze rather than amused. It’s always the people you are with that are important, here or anywhere. Places just form the backdrop for a beautiful memory like the troupe dancers who go unnoticed behind the typical Bollywood Hero & Heroine, however ravishing they are.  They form cues to the wonderful companionship that you experienced.

I would rather live with the regret of not being to a place than take that tedious trip to sit on a mountain top for ten minutes and feel bored (that’s just the lazy ME :P ). I would be comfortable watching “In to the Wild” on my laptop, listen to my friend share her adventures or go out for a coffee on the next street J. My favorite place would always remain wherever I am, cos that is where I AM. ;)

A Country of Cynics

There are so many things Indians love to do for entertainment. Cricket, Dance, Gossip, Music, Bollywood and the one that tops them all, criticizing our politicians and elected government. We are all cynics who believe that no politician is clean or selfless and that everyone has a personal agenda. We are not ready to accept the fact that someone really can give an honest government, for we are all corrupt ourselves. The entire nation supported Anna Hazare and his movement against corruption but who is this corruption that we revolted against! Is it just the Congress led UPA Government that is corrupt! What about the one who undervalues his property to pay less taxes, the person who uses his links to move ahead in a temple queue or while seeking a driving license, the one who is ready to pay a hundred bucks to a traffic cop for violating lane rules rather than paying the legal fine of Rs 500 in court or the employee who travels business class in company expenditure but prefers economy class when it’s his own money!

Let’s get this clear, we are all corrupt. It’s just the magnitude that varies.

I wanted to write this blog after the various criticisms that my friends had posted on social media about the alleged failure of the AAP government and the escapism of Kejriwal. These were the same people who supported the India against corruption movement and the surge of the AAP Government in Delhi but today they think otherwise.  I was one person who was against the Anna movement for the simple fact that they were trying to blackmail an elected government in to doing the things they wanted. This to me is Anarchism. But when Kejriwal decided to take the constitutional route and be a part of the system that he wanted to change, I derived great respect for him. When someone accuses politics to be dirty, the immediate response is why not clean it and get your hands dirtied. But it is a fact that we are the very same people who are ready with a handful of dirt to heap on the ones who try.

Here again we are a cynical society, for we don’t want anyone to win. We are a society of losers. We always want something to crib about and someone to lay allegations on.

When AAP came to power with Congress support, we asked why did you align with the party you accused of being the principal corrupt, it was a staged drama to save the Congress and that AAP is Congress’ B Team and today when Kejriwal resigns over not being able to keep up his core promise of passing the Jan Lokpal Bill, we ask AAP why are you shunning responsibility and running away from governance. What are they running away from! They are going to fight the re-elections with the same promises. And as it looks now, they will get majority this time.  Is that what one calls running away from responsibility! I thought accepting defeat and giving up on participating in elections is what one calls running away.

Look at the amount of judgements people have to heave on a minority government which had kept up most of its promises at least in parts in the past 48 days of power but no one seems to care what the BJP Governments in Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan which won landslide victories around the same time, do for the people. This is because we want to strengthen our belief that no person or party in this country can be honest and serve selflessly, as we ourselves won’t do that – be honest and selfless.

When my friend asked me who would you vote for in the coming general elections a month back, I replied saying that I will vote for Jayalalitha’s AIADMK as my vote won’t make any difference if I vote for AAP in my constituency in Tamil Nadu as they are bound to lose. But today I tell with conviction, let my vote go waste but I would cast it for AAP even if they may lose deposit for I want my very own to win. I don’t mean to say that they will stay non-corrupt but at least let us give them a chance, a real chance that is, not like the one in Delhi which was a minority government. HOPE.

The Ideal Life

“Your simple life can be someone’s biggest dream”

I have always been a person dazzled by science fiction be it the concept of time travel and parallel universe through quantum physics or the thought of sneaking in to one’s dream and placing an idea in there. Of late, there is one more thing which caught my attention and left me curious – Lucid Dreaming or a state of Suspended Animation. It means to preserve a person’s body and soul at sub-zero temperatures, a cryonic state for a long long time letting one live a dream.

Well, this is not entirely science fiction as the science part of it pretty strong. It might be in the initial stages of research as of now but very soon in the future, you would have a choice to live a dream as well. So assuming that happens, what would be your choice? Dream or Reality? If in a dream, how would you like it to be and for how long?

Before I give my answer, I would like to discuss two different movies which dealt on this same theme.

Vanilla Sky – A 2001 Tom Cruise movie where the super rich hero disfigured by an accident and loses his close ones chose to dream of a life with a perfect face and the love of his life.

Lucia – A 2013 Kannada movie where the super rich film star hero dreams of a life as a simpleton sans attention and stardom finding happiness in simple things which makes life perfect.

Though both have the central theme around the concept of Lucid Dream, they are very different in terms of what they see as a dream, which also has something to do with the two different countries and people that we are.  But what I’m really concerned about is what did the two heroes chose in the end.  While Tom Cruise chooses to face his reality with all its imperfections, in Lucia, the hero decides to live the dream as a normal person with simple desires.

So more than answering the question of dream or reality, I would choose to find out what would be the ideal way of life irrespective of being a dream or reality – and I choose a life of imperfections. May sound ironic that the ideal way of life for me is actually to be imperfect, for it is knowing the sour which would make one appreciate the sweet. If everything in life is sweet, it really isn't sweet at all. It is the imperfections which makes one’s life. Learn to appreciate it. I quote one of my friends from a conversation we had last night, “Everyone who is born is confused. If you are sorted then life loses its meaning. If you are content, your existing has no purpose.”

So ever given a chance to be in a suspended animation in the future, choose wisely, choose your very own. I would want to end it from where I began, “Your simple life can be someone’s biggest dream.” So, CHERISH IT. 

The-Thing-About-Thinking-And-Not-Doing

I received a call this morning from my best friend asking me why I don’t write these days. I know the answer and it’s pretty simple. I’m LAZY. Though I think of writing once in a while when I come across something interesting, it always stops there at THINK, as there would be a fantastic movie to watch, a match to track, a girl to woe or otherwise an heavy dose of lethargy saying I’ll do it tomorrow. But like in the title of the James Bond movie, “Tomorrow never Dies”.

So I got thinking today and I’m determined to write, no matter what crap comes out, about the act of thinking and not acting. Why does it happen?

• You got better things to do
• You misplace preferences
• You think you don’t have it in you or that you have lost it
• You worry about what others would think or feel
• Or the fact that you think too much in itself stops you from doing things

For me, it’s the last 3 (the pessimistic ones).  Guys like me try our whole life pleasing others, making people around feel good and are worried about what would one think of us if we do so, the way we want to do. I’ve been doing it for years that now it’s become me. Once in a while you read or watch something which motivates you to do what you like but it stays with you for utmost a day and then you realize that it’s not working. The one you are and one you would want to be becomes two different things.

People who have known me in person as well as through long chats on any of the virtual communication medium would tell me that I sound different and it’s like I am two different persons altogether and that they like the one on texts better. That’s because the one I am on texts is the real me and the one I would want to be. (Kinda like Clark Kent and Superman :D But to tell you being Clark Kent in real life sucks :p ).

To add to my point the only love of my life has spoken to me only on chat screens and even the current crush. Recently, I watched this movie HER, about a man who falls in love with an intelligent computer operating system with a female voice and personality. This would have seemed a crazy thought to many but not to me :D (I guess inventing something like this would be the only way to find myself a girlfriend). I believe a relationship is more about companionship and being there for each other even if it means only in words, cos to me that is better than look and feel.

So I started somewhere and ended somewhere, but no matter what, “ I am a happy man today as I did what I thought of”. Guys, better start doing the things you want to and being the person you are before it’s too late that you end up having a split personality like me and keep writing some bullshit like I just DID :D

The Actor who wasn't

"Acting is half shame, half glory. Shame, when exhibiting yourself. Glory, when you can forget yourself"- John Gielgud

Most often we download a torrent or buy a ticket, sit comfortably popping in pop corns and watch a movie. And the moment the credits role, don’t know where it comes from, but even the dumbest of minds starts shooting out criticism that the director could have done this and that the climax could have been altered etc etc. And mostly it’s the actor who gets torn apart despite him just being a projective of the director’s thoughts. But one has to be in the actor’s shoes in order to find out how difficult it is to be one. I’m saying all this coz I’ve been there, done that :p

There is this friend of mine from college whose passion is to be a director and has done a lot of amazing short films for which he has won quite many prizes. One night he came to my room saying that he has come up with a new script and made me hear it. The plot is about a young couple giving guidance, using their own experiences, to a guy who has just fallen in love. The twist comes towards the end (BOOM) that the couple involved had actually committed suicide years back and it was their ghosts which were playing along. I told him that it’s too good after which he gave me the BOOM for real saying that I’ll have to play the male ghost.

Playing a ghost wasn’t totally new to me as it was just recently, I was part of a little documentary named VISITOR where the audience had an ironical feeling of having a good laugh while watching a horror movie. So I was apprehensive not to repeat the act and screw the plot but he managed talking me in. It eventually took more than a week before we actually shot in Coimbatore. The one starring as the female ghost was one of my close friends,extremely beautiful, smart and lovable. The first location was a crowded park, Sunday,surrounded by a dozen of spectators where we had to dance for a 1980’s kind of duet with freaky steps and angles (Equate the embarrassment).

People close to me know how unexpressive a person I am (the kind who remains silent on hearing a joke even when the whole room laughs to tears). So naturally we went for multiple takes just coz of me while she could well have qualified for a lead in a Mani Ratnam movie with the confidence and charm that she exhibited. After almost an hour, I managed something worthwhile by dimming the curious on lookers from my vision and trying to imitate TR’s grooves in Veerasamy. The stuff didn’t stop there but it went on with looking in to each other’s eyes, dancing around trees, close ups wit flowers and more. As we wrapped up, I had accounted for more number of crazy things in a single day than I had done in my entire life.

The next portion of the movie came out extremely well for me as I had to be a human looking ghost giving advises and recalling old days with not much expression and a low tone (natural act). With this we completed half of the shoot but the real challenge was the remaining which had to be shot in the college corridors as I already had a tough time facing my classmates’ pranks since they heard of this thing. Sunday helped, with not many ppl seen in the corridor. I had to go behind her and propose with a lengthy exchange of dialogues (it helped me understand that I wasn’t great at remembering lines as well). Time had the answer and we got it done with the camera guy rotating a hundred times to get it captured (thank God, he did).

But unfortunately we couldn’t complete the movie as we had an indefinite closure of college due to a strike and since then hell became heller with ppl even getting expelled from hostel for shooting short films (which according to the CS HOD is synonymous with hot films). For good or bad, the film remains incomplete and the actor in me stays dormant (thus paving way for the world to live beyond 2012). But what I learnt after this is that an actor shouldn’t be criticized unless you are an actor yourself as he is doing a far better job than what you can. No wonder why they even become Chief Ministers, It’s an art. An art, very few master.