A Country of Cynics

There are so many things Indians love to do for entertainment. Cricket, Dance, Gossip, Music, Bollywood and the one that tops them all, criticizing our politicians and elected government. We are all cynics who believe that no politician is clean or selfless and that everyone has a personal agenda. We are not ready to accept the fact that someone really can give an honest government, for we are all corrupt ourselves. The entire nation supported Anna Hazare and his movement against corruption but who is this corruption that we revolted against! Is it just the Congress led UPA Government that is corrupt! What about the one who undervalues his property to pay less taxes, the person who uses his links to move ahead in a temple queue or while seeking a driving license, the one who is ready to pay a hundred bucks to a traffic cop for violating lane rules rather than paying the legal fine of Rs 500 in court or the employee who travels business class in company expenditure but prefers economy class when it’s his own money!

Let’s get this clear, we are all corrupt. It’s just the magnitude that varies.

I wanted to write this blog after the various criticisms that my friends had posted on social media about the alleged failure of the AAP government and the escapism of Kejriwal. These were the same people who supported the India against corruption movement and the surge of the AAP Government in Delhi but today they think otherwise.  I was one person who was against the Anna movement for the simple fact that they were trying to blackmail an elected government in to doing the things they wanted. This to me is Anarchism. But when Kejriwal decided to take the constitutional route and be a part of the system that he wanted to change, I derived great respect for him. When someone accuses politics to be dirty, the immediate response is why not clean it and get your hands dirtied. But it is a fact that we are the very same people who are ready with a handful of dirt to heap on the ones who try.

Here again we are a cynical society, for we don’t want anyone to win. We are a society of losers. We always want something to crib about and someone to lay allegations on.

When AAP came to power with Congress support, we asked why did you align with the party you accused of being the principal corrupt, it was a staged drama to save the Congress and that AAP is Congress’ B Team and today when Kejriwal resigns over not being able to keep up his core promise of passing the Jan Lokpal Bill, we ask AAP why are you shunning responsibility and running away from governance. What are they running away from! They are going to fight the re-elections with the same promises. And as it looks now, they will get majority this time.  Is that what one calls running away from responsibility! I thought accepting defeat and giving up on participating in elections is what one calls running away.

Look at the amount of judgements people have to heave on a minority government which had kept up most of its promises at least in parts in the past 48 days of power but no one seems to care what the BJP Governments in Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan which won landslide victories around the same time, do for the people. This is because we want to strengthen our belief that no person or party in this country can be honest and serve selflessly, as we ourselves won’t do that – be honest and selfless.

When my friend asked me who would you vote for in the coming general elections a month back, I replied saying that I will vote for Jayalalitha’s AIADMK as my vote won’t make any difference if I vote for AAP in my constituency in Tamil Nadu as they are bound to lose. But today I tell with conviction, let my vote go waste but I would cast it for AAP even if they may lose deposit for I want my very own to win. I don’t mean to say that they will stay non-corrupt but at least let us give them a chance, a real chance that is, not like the one in Delhi which was a minority government. HOPE.

The Ideal Life

“Your simple life can be someone’s biggest dream”

I have always been a person dazzled by science fiction be it the concept of time travel and parallel universe through quantum physics or the thought of sneaking in to one’s dream and placing an idea in there. Of late, there is one more thing which caught my attention and left me curious – Lucid Dreaming or a state of Suspended Animation. It means to preserve a person’s body and soul at sub-zero temperatures, a cryonic state for a long long time letting one live a dream.

Well, this is not entirely science fiction as the science part of it pretty strong. It might be in the initial stages of research as of now but very soon in the future, you would have a choice to live a dream as well. So assuming that happens, what would be your choice? Dream or Reality? If in a dream, how would you like it to be and for how long?

Before I give my answer, I would like to discuss two different movies which dealt on this same theme.

Vanilla Sky – A 2001 Tom Cruise movie where the super rich hero disfigured by an accident and loses his close ones chose to dream of a life with a perfect face and the love of his life.

Lucia – A 2013 Kannada movie where the super rich film star hero dreams of a life as a simpleton sans attention and stardom finding happiness in simple things which makes life perfect.

Though both have the central theme around the concept of Lucid Dream, they are very different in terms of what they see as a dream, which also has something to do with the two different countries and people that we are.  But what I’m really concerned about is what did the two heroes chose in the end.  While Tom Cruise chooses to face his reality with all its imperfections, in Lucia, the hero decides to live the dream as a normal person with simple desires.

So more than answering the question of dream or reality, I would choose to find out what would be the ideal way of life irrespective of being a dream or reality – and I choose a life of imperfections. May sound ironic that the ideal way of life for me is actually to be imperfect, for it is knowing the sour which would make one appreciate the sweet. If everything in life is sweet, it really isn't sweet at all. It is the imperfections which makes one’s life. Learn to appreciate it. I quote one of my friends from a conversation we had last night, “Everyone who is born is confused. If you are sorted then life loses its meaning. If you are content, your existing has no purpose.”

So ever given a chance to be in a suspended animation in the future, choose wisely, choose your very own. I would want to end it from where I began, “Your simple life can be someone’s biggest dream.” So, CHERISH IT. 

The-Thing-About-Thinking-And-Not-Doing

I received a call this morning from my best friend asking me why I don’t write these days. I know the answer and it’s pretty simple. I’m LAZY. Though I think of writing once in a while when I come across something interesting, it always stops there at THINK, as there would be a fantastic movie to watch, a match to track, a girl to woe or otherwise an heavy dose of lethargy saying I’ll do it tomorrow. But like in the title of the James Bond movie, “Tomorrow never Dies”.

So I got thinking today and I’m determined to write, no matter what crap comes out, about the act of thinking and not acting. Why does it happen?

• You got better things to do
• You misplace preferences
• You think you don’t have it in you or that you have lost it
• You worry about what others would think or feel
• Or the fact that you think too much in itself stops you from doing things

For me, it’s the last 3 (the pessimistic ones).  Guys like me try our whole life pleasing others, making people around feel good and are worried about what would one think of us if we do so, the way we want to do. I’ve been doing it for years that now it’s become me. Once in a while you read or watch something which motivates you to do what you like but it stays with you for utmost a day and then you realize that it’s not working. The one you are and one you would want to be becomes two different things.

People who have known me in person as well as through long chats on any of the virtual communication medium would tell me that I sound different and it’s like I am two different persons altogether and that they like the one on texts better. That’s because the one I am on texts is the real me and the one I would want to be. (Kinda like Clark Kent and Superman :D But to tell you being Clark Kent in real life sucks :p ).

To add to my point the only love of my life has spoken to me only on chat screens and even the current crush. Recently, I watched this movie HER, about a man who falls in love with an intelligent computer operating system with a female voice and personality. This would have seemed a crazy thought to many but not to me :D (I guess inventing something like this would be the only way to find myself a girlfriend). I believe a relationship is more about companionship and being there for each other even if it means only in words, cos to me that is better than look and feel.

So I started somewhere and ended somewhere, but no matter what, “ I am a happy man today as I did what I thought of”. Guys, better start doing the things you want to and being the person you are before it’s too late that you end up having a split personality like me and keep writing some bullshit like I just DID :D

The Actor who wasn't

"Acting is half shame, half glory. Shame, when exhibiting yourself. Glory, when you can forget yourself"- John Gielgud

Most often we download a torrent or buy a ticket, sit comfortably popping in pop corns and watch a movie. And the moment the credits role, don’t know where it comes from, but even the dumbest of minds starts shooting out criticism that the director could have done this and that the climax could have been altered etc etc. And mostly it’s the actor who gets torn apart despite him just being a projective of the director’s thoughts. But one has to be in the actor’s shoes in order to find out how difficult it is to be one. I’m saying all this coz I’ve been there, done that :p

There is this friend of mine from college whose passion is to be a director and has done a lot of amazing short films for which he has won quite many prizes. One night he came to my room saying that he has come up with a new script and made me hear it. The plot is about a young couple giving guidance, using their own experiences, to a guy who has just fallen in love. The twist comes towards the end (BOOM) that the couple involved had actually committed suicide years back and it was their ghosts which were playing along. I told him that it’s too good after which he gave me the BOOM for real saying that I’ll have to play the male ghost.

Playing a ghost wasn’t totally new to me as it was just recently, I was part of a little documentary named VISITOR where the audience had an ironical feeling of having a good laugh while watching a horror movie. So I was apprehensive not to repeat the act and screw the plot but he managed talking me in. It eventually took more than a week before we actually shot in Coimbatore. The one starring as the female ghost was one of my close friends,extremely beautiful, smart and lovable. The first location was a crowded park, Sunday,surrounded by a dozen of spectators where we had to dance for a 1980’s kind of duet with freaky steps and angles (Equate the embarrassment).

People close to me know how unexpressive a person I am (the kind who remains silent on hearing a joke even when the whole room laughs to tears). So naturally we went for multiple takes just coz of me while she could well have qualified for a lead in a Mani Ratnam movie with the confidence and charm that she exhibited. After almost an hour, I managed something worthwhile by dimming the curious on lookers from my vision and trying to imitate TR’s grooves in Veerasamy. The stuff didn’t stop there but it went on with looking in to each other’s eyes, dancing around trees, close ups wit flowers and more. As we wrapped up, I had accounted for more number of crazy things in a single day than I had done in my entire life.

The next portion of the movie came out extremely well for me as I had to be a human looking ghost giving advises and recalling old days with not much expression and a low tone (natural act). With this we completed half of the shoot but the real challenge was the remaining which had to be shot in the college corridors as I already had a tough time facing my classmates’ pranks since they heard of this thing. Sunday helped, with not many ppl seen in the corridor. I had to go behind her and propose with a lengthy exchange of dialogues (it helped me understand that I wasn’t great at remembering lines as well). Time had the answer and we got it done with the camera guy rotating a hundred times to get it captured (thank God, he did).

But unfortunately we couldn’t complete the movie as we had an indefinite closure of college due to a strike and since then hell became heller with ppl even getting expelled from hostel for shooting short films (which according to the CS HOD is synonymous with hot films). For good or bad, the film remains incomplete and the actor in me stays dormant (thus paving way for the world to live beyond 2012). But what I learnt after this is that an actor shouldn’t be criticized unless you are an actor yourself as he is doing a far better job than what you can. No wonder why they even become Chief Ministers, It’s an art. An art, very few master.

Selfish Selflessness

There are like a very few instances when you are really tempted to pick up a pen and start penning down those moments immediately. This is one such thought that occurred to me today. For all those BITians who know me, you know how jobless i’ve been over the past few weeks but today wasn’t one such day as i had my first review for my project this noon(Not that i had to work a lot, it’s just copy pasting, but still ) So i had a little time before starting to college this morning and the best thing was that there was power ( Lol, we live in this crazy hostel where the power is there during college time but not during breaks). I happened to rush through Bachna he Hasseno and got to hear this startling one liner that Ranbir uses to woe Deepika in the climax, LOVING YOU IS LIKE LOVING MYSELF.

How sweet! I know we love ourselves much more than we love anybody else but there are a few instances where you realise that watching someone else being happy makes you feel far better than rejoicing for your own selves. And getting to have such a person with you doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve known this person since a year back and henceforth i’ve never regretted even a single moment spent with her. Yes, her . She has been a friend, companion, sister, care taker, PRO as in pupil relations officer (she publicises me telling ppl what she feels i am, but what i think i’m not), a compatriot and everything else.There is not a single day that goes by without blurting out my worries or hearing her shower endless compliments that my entire archives is filled with texts from her(a whole 50MB of text).

Though i’m like ten blog posts old, i haven’t had a better reception as my first one even if all the others put together. Guess that’s the catch with tragic love stories! lol. So coming to the point, there is nothing much interesting in life than one’s first love. Like me, this girl that i’m talking about also had, has and will cease to have her first and only love, with an amazing guy who is no less to her by any means (say rab ne bana de jodi). They love each other like crazy and i don’t know if it’s my first blog or what but i’m always called to play the peacemaker in case they have a misunderstanding, most of which are silly to the core. But that’s the best part .
There is just something about them that makes it so hard for me to resist being reminded of my girl and the incredible days that i had spent with her. Everytime i think of what went wrong with me and my girl, i wish i could take back a few things that happened between us, which i know is mere impossible. But in these two people, I see what i missed out on. I wish they don’t make the same mistakes that i did. It makes me feel like they are living my dreams and fantasies which i wish would have been happening between us if we hadn’t broke up. So if they are happy today, it’s like i am happy. I know it sounds crazy but yes, that’s how it is. A selfish selflessness. Well, have you experienced anything similar? Think.

PS You Love Them

Today I accidentally got to have a look at the letters I addressed to my dad and mom years back as a little kid residing in a boarding school almost 350 km away from home. Let me write down one of those letters for you exactly as it was.

My dear mum and dad.

How are you? I am fine and happy over here. How is the climate over there? Here it is good. I celebrated my birthday. The dress was very nice and the greetings. We are going to black thunder as a picnic on Saturday 12^th September. Charge 150 they will put with the bill. My quarterly Exams will finished at 20^th September. You should come on 21^st September Warden Miss said. How are all at home? Write a letter to me as I do for you. Pray for me as I do for you. I end this letter with lots of love and kisses.

Your loving Son.

The letter was dated 7-9-98, when I did my 3^rd std and was in a scribbling hand writing which even I found it difficult to read. There was also a crappy drawing behind in pencil that I had drawn(God, I really didn’t know what that meant no matter how hard I tried, so I gave up. May be I’ll upload it on FB for you’ll to decipher it). Just felt so much amazed and went on to read the rest of the letters dated since 1995. The bolded part in the above letter was standard in all of them which made me wonder if the climate was always good (Wish I can still add that part to my letters, sorry e-mails). And I think the words in the letter are far high for a 3^rd std student. It brought me a lot of memories from the good old past when life was limited within the fences of my school. My dad has all those letters filed up in the locker and values them more than all the money that he has earned over the years.

I agree it really is wonderful to catch up with any of our friends wherever they may be with just one click but what we miss is the days when we send a letter and eagerly wait for a reply from the other side. Today when there’s a friend’s birthday coming, we get alerts on our homepage on which we leave a post on their wall, leave them a text msg or send them an e-greeting which is standard for everyone, from acquaintances to our best friends. Where is the time and care that we spend on identifying the best of greeting cards from numerous others and address them to our loved ones with loads of care!

Though the Tele-communication era has made our world a global village, the truth is that it has distanced us in terms of the love and affection that we share for each other. But it is so heartening to know that besides all the 2G, 3G and S Band spectrums, we still have our age old India Post functioning and we still receive a few telegrams, personal letters and greeting cards. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone (no, not OD letters. Lol). My humble request is that, give it a try, spend some time, script a hand written letter and address it to your loved ones ignoring all the temptations posed by the 21^st century and witness how content you feel and also make the addressee feel. So what’s holding you, pen on J.

On the top of the World

Blue sky, chirping birds, golden gleams of sunlight, cool breeze, a non-perennial water body, tens of telecommunication miniatures of the Eiffel Tower, domes of a temple, church and mosque (all at one sight) exhibiting sovereignty, green patches of moist land serving as the Eden Gardens to many Master Blasters in the making, distant horn of the Great Indian Railways, sailing colors of drying pyjamas and salwaars, an aunt in the neighborhood household exercising to stay fit and the house of my best friend in the very next lane.

I’m truly on the top of the world. I’m on my TERRACE :).

My bonding with this beautiful place began from my school days when my mom expects me to study for a minimum of 15 hours a day of which ten passed at school (But please don’t ask me if I studied at school. Lol). It was the remaining five hours that were a problem at the beginning, till I got on to the terrace one evening with my book. Ever since then, it had turned out to be a companion, a friend, a soul mate and a personal diary. What would one think if you keep talking to yourself all alone! That you have gone mad. Well, yes but not when you are in this place with a earphone playing the favorite song of yours. It knows everything about me from the half yearly exam I bunked in my twelfth standard staying back at my friend’s place watching the Final Destination series, my secret crushes, awkwardly odd fetish ness, the kind of affection I have for my family that even they don’t know, pre defined plans for life (though none has taken off) and the happy and sad moments encountered with my lady love. Most of all, it knows the real ME like no one else in this world have known or would.

Even today if I come home, it’s my assigned job to treat the crows every morning calling out, “ Ka. Ka “. I was so good at it that the crows eventually started coming without even me calling out but my mom says that I’m never supposed to serve them mute (I wouldn’t wonder if my neighbor says that he uses my tone as his alarm to wake up). The non-perennial water body that I mentioned above serves multiple purposes – play field, dhobi ghat (nope, not the Aamir Khan feature film), a place to dump domestic wastes and a water tub for buffalos. I even used to rehearse for my roles in plays and for oratorical competitions earning me a choice to add a good number of certificates to fill my 40 leaf file for placements (which I did). I’ve essayed several roles as an actor, singer, music director, film critic and sometimes a choreographer too which only my terrace knows (Good for the world, It doesn’t). I should mention that we have a lot of peacocks around my place, which would contribute some pride provided the poachers don’t deprive them by seizing their feathers. And not to forget the cat and dog play (at times, it is dog and dog play) which keeps me better entertained than WWE.

I remember a philosopher once being asked which was his favorite place on earth and he replied saying where ever he was. Well, I may not be so thoughtful as him but my mouth would effortlessly utter, “MY TERRACE”.